INDUCTEE #1
SELF-PORTRAITS
In an audacious display of misguided confidence, these pieces serve as a glaring beacon of artistic ambition gone awry. The creators, known for their vocal talents rather than visual talents, embarked on a journey to immortalize each other in paint, only to immortalize their lack of skill instead. What stands before you is not so much a portrait but a vibrant cry for help, a muddled palette of colors that suggests the artists were blindfolded—or perhaps should have been.
In one, we see an attempt to capture the essence of a human face, if that face had been interpreted by a particularly imaginative potato. The eyes, if we dare assign them a label, are less windows to the soul and more akin to abstract portals to an alternate dimension where anatomy holds no sway.
Its counterpart is no less perplexing, presenting a figure that could be mistaken for a modern art interpretation of a Rorschach test. Viewers are invited to guess which blotch represents a nose and which a misguided attempt at shading.
These "masterpieces" are a testament to the power of friendship—the kind that can survive even the most brutal assaults on each other's likeness. It’s a reminder that art is subjective, but some subjects really shouldn't be tackled without adult supervision.
What Went Wrong?
What do you mean? We aren't artists!
Fun Facts
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The paint used in this artistic debacle is rumored to have been sourced from a top-secret government facility specializing in colors not meant to be seen by the human eye. Experts are still debating whether the unique shade of "blurple" was a happy accident or a cry for help.
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The artwork was momentarily mistaken for a modernist map of an unknown city.
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The artwork is accompanied by a soundtrack, a continuous loop of the artists laughing, then sobbing, then laughing again.
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Art schools use the works as a cautionary tale, warning students about the perils of unchecked enthusiasm unbridled by actual ability.
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The pieces has been praised for its innovative use of the "splotch" technique—a method where paint is applied to the canvas in a manner that suggests the artists may have been juggling the paintbrushes rather than using them.
